It's No Longer A Conundrum

Whether to speak truthfully of the dead or give them the generous, and in your view inaccurate, benefit of the doubt? The solution is simple - speak plainly and clearly while they are alive, leaving no doubt how you feel and the reasons why. Be respectful because little is ever gained by acrimony but just as you should never leave doubt in the hearts of those you love, so too should the "others" have no uncertainty about where they stand.

It's probably an old Irish truism